How should I deal with my 18 year old daughter?

I'll start off by saying that I love my daughter very much. She is incredibly smart and kind. Tests and teachers tell me she's intelligent and engaged but she does the bare minimum in school, especially these days, now that she's gotten into her first choice college (due to stellar essays and SAT grades- definitely not an impressive high school transcript).But this is tip of the iceberg. For about a year and a half my daughter has been caught numerous times drinking/stealing alcohol from us. She'll grab a bottle of something while we're out and bring it to friend's houses. We'll go through "good periods" where I won't be suspicious that she's doing it, but then all of a sudden my husband will tell me a case of beer or a bottle of wine is missing, and it's really tiresome. I know that she's 18 and kids do this, but alcohol scares me and I don't want to see her getting hurt. I also have fears about her going to parties- I know that alcohol is being served and as much as I'd like to believe her when she says she won't drink, I know she will.My husband tells me he's seen her carrying cigarettes. I'm not sure whether or not she smokes.What also really bothers my husband is that he has caught her several times sneaking boys out of her room. I am more understanding about this- I know that 18 year old kids are interested in dating and whatnot, so while I don't condone it, it's not the most pressing isue to me. It really really bothers her father though.It's so easy to forget all the trouble my daughter gets into when you talk to her. She is eloquent, charming and intelligent and I really think she's going somewhere in life. But how can I ensure that given all the drama?

Similar Asks:

  • Help with Essay corrections? - This is a little part of my essay on “teenagers and the drug culture” does anyone notice any spelling mistakes or punctuation errors ?( I always put commas in the wrong place ! )thanks in advance ! (my essay is crap by the way ,I will be lucky if I get a 4 in it
  • Really Funny!? - STUPID’S EXAM PAPER [This one's little difficult than last year's]1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters (only alphabet are allowed, no numericdigits or “_” allowed)2. Gender?( ) Male( ) Female( ) Don’t know.3. What’s your age group?( ) less than 0( ) equal to 0( ) greater than 04.
  • Help! on forming a thesis about banning flavored cigarettes.? - I am supposed to write an evaluative essay. I chose the topic on banning flavored cigarettes. I am against banning flavored cigarettes. I need a good thesis to prove my point. So far I have came with a couple of thesis’s but i dont think they are good enough. If you could make any improvements
  • TEEN Court question please help!? - I’m participating in teen court for highschool and I’m doing prosecution. The person being charged is also in hs.JJ’s first offense was Alcohol. He has completed 20 hrs of community service and wrote a reflection essay. He was also assigned to drug’s and alcohol class. And is currently in that class with
  • Rate my intro to an alcohol essay? - Alcohol has been a significant figure in society for thousands of years. From being worshipped by the ancient Babylonians to being forbidden to teenagers, alcohol has caused many problems. Whether it’s from excessive drinking or from excessive drinking by a friend or family member, alcohol has ruined an innumerable amount of people lives from young
  • Essay Help! Can Somebody Please Edit My Fifth and Sixth Paragraph? - Many crimes are being committed these days. A lot of it relates to gangs. Gang activity cannot be stopped but it can be prevented from your child being involved. Having a curfew can …”protect teens from becoming victims of crime.” Teens like to skip their curfew to meet up with their friends and form a
  • Please help me with my personal essay, with spellings and grammar. thanks? - I was born in Ozyornoe, Ukraine, to the Christian stay-at-home Ukrainian homemaker mother, and an Ukrainian father, serving as a firefighter for seven years. Lived in a family with 13 brothers and sisters for twelve years, experiencing poverty and taxing life. Several months later we moved to the United States. Moving was very difficult, especially

5 Answers to “How should I deal with my 18 year old daughter?”

  1. laryngalgia says:

    Maybe to start you should let her know she doesn’t have to hide things…I know the “fun” of doing the things you mentioned (although I was 13) was the fact that it was a secret from my parents and the rush of getting caught made it exciting esp. the sex ( I know I know but it was only one person & I regret it) My friend and I were allowed to drink and such so when our other friends wanted to “party” it wasn’t fun and we decided not too…I haven’t “partied” since a little before my 15th b-day and I’m now 19 SO I’m sorry I’m not much help but just don’t make it such a big deal and she’ll probably stop…

  2. unwares says:

    you cant. she 18 which means shes a legal adult

  3. derisions says:

    Although I’m only 20, i feel that from your point of view it’s the “sneaking” part of her behaviour that is really eating away at you. If she was truthful about taking alcohol or having a boy in her room, you might feel differently. Worry starts when you become sceptical about her behaviour. I suggest just asking her to be honest with you; then you wont have to be suspicious, you can offer her advice and your mind can rest at ease. Although it’s probably easier said than done.

  4. respirational says:

    Honestly, this might sound like a cop out answer, but I think you should sit her down and simply let her read what you just wrote. It’s concerned, yet it’s understanding. It’s a fantastic post. You sound like a wonderful and understanding mother who wants the very best for her daughter. You should have nothing to fear. All the very best to you..

  5. l'hotel says:

    sounds like a spoilt little rich girl that doesnt get in trouble for what she does! although depends if your in australia or us! if australia shes allowed to drink and smoke and do what she wants