Is he cheating on me? (essay)?

My bf is 26 and I'm 25, and we've been together for a bit over 3 years now. Back home we have always partied separately. We both had our own friends so it worked out pretty well. He's moved to another country for work now, and I'm here to visit him. We've been together for around 3 years before we started the long distance relationship. I have no friends and no family here. We've gone on trips and dinners and such with several other couples (his friends). But for some reason, he refused to bring me out to parties with him. I'm honest when I say that we are both attractive and both have people chasing after us, and I'm confident that I am not an embarassment and neither is he. Last time when I visited him, he did the same thing. He refused to bring me out to parties. This time he kept on begging me to visit him. In the beginning I said no but he promised he won't leave me at home while he goes partying. He said he would bring me to parties with him. And of course I've traveled half way around the world to see that he's once again left me at home while he goes partying. When I confronted him, he said "that's how we've always been. we've always hung out with our friends separately, and we both felt it was great" (which I did, when I had my own friends). When I accused him of cheating on me because he must be hiding something out there, he said "if i'm cheating on u, why would I beg you to come visit me? why don't I just dump you and be with other girls?". I know he has a lot of female friends but he refused to introduce any of them to me. I've met a few friends of his and they were all couples. Is he cheating on me?His parents have moved to this country for good now, and he asked me to move here for good. He referred to the topic of "marriage" as if it's something that we've mutually agreed upon, as if it's something that's already been decided. I think it's safe to say that our relationship is mature and stable. The only thing I'm extremly uneasy about is, Why! Why won't he take me to his parties!?! Is he cheating on me? He always talks about his female friends as tall and skinny models. And he always say things like "i don't hang out with girls unless they are pretty". And it's true too back home, his female friends are pretty much all good looking. But in this strange country, I feel very alone and I don't know what's going on....

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17 Answers to “Is he cheating on me? (essay)?”

  1. bumclock says:


  2. aleda says:

    it seems like you two spend too much time apart, he might be looking for a more serious relationship and you might not be cutting it. I think your should think about weather you love him enough to stay with him if he continues to act this way… Try talking to him about it and let him know you want the truth and u are 100% serious!hope everything works out! and let me know how it goes!.

  3. masterstroke says:

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  4. gutted says:

    Regardless of what he is doing, you seem to need something different. It’s not fair to ask you to leave your friends and family only to be left alone. Do not settle. It is one thing to go out separately but to not be allowed within his social circle is simply not (in my humble opinion) something to be accepted. I recently ended my relationship after 15 years and this was one of the problems. I am independent and happy to do my own thing but would invite him along. He began to not only not invite me, but actually tell me I was unwelcome. I can honestly say I’m attractive and not an embarrassment either so it wasn’t something I would accept. I wish you the best.

  5. pensility says:

    honey, in a nutshell, this man is “just not that into you” when it push comes to shove. Dump him and move on.

  6. kinhin says:

    I’d tell him that if he doesn’t start taking you to parties with him that it’s over because it makes you feel like you can’t trust him or like he has something to hide. Tell him that regardless of whether or not that’s true, that’s how he is making you feel. He’ll either throw a fit (most likely because he does have something to hide) or he’ll start taking you (he might be bitter at first because it’s different than what you both have been doing for the past few years). He should understand that there’s a difference between partying with his friends while your partying with yours versus partying with his friends while you’re sitting at home alone in some new alternate country.

  7. huntewj says:

    The fact that he refuses to introduce you to his female friends is defiantly an indication of something. Its fine the both of you go out separately, but its not exactly healthy that you NEVER go out together. Its been over 3 years with this man, I think your relationship should have established these aspects some time ago and because it hasnt marriage is defiantly not in the cards anytime soon. If you try talking to him one more time and he still refuses to let you come to these parties, do some investigating and find out what goes on for your own peace of mind. Im sorry, but this sounds really fishy, your guy might have another life going on without your knowing. For your own peace of mind do what you have to, why continue a relationship when theres no complete honesty?

  8. hemispheroidal says:

    It sounds like you should go home to your family and friends…and let him stay and party to his hearts content. Sounds like the two of you have always had separate lives, I don’t hear too much of a couple here.Let him have his partying…you need someone who will include you in his life. Hope this helps…

  9. AL-ANZI says:

    idk … that is kinda of strange, but then again i dont party without my husband.. tell him you want to know the truth, and its just plain rude to leave your girlfriend alone in a weird country!

  10. sums says:

    I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing anything differently. You have to decide if you can continue with things as they are…or, you could talk to him about changing that part of the relationship…or, you could leave him and move on.

  11. convince says:

    I personally think you should just leave. I would think a man, if he loves you of course, would be proud to introduce you to his friends and would want to involve you in his life especially if you are considering the path of marriage. His actions are simply a manifestation of a deeper issue. You could talk to him about it all but a man shouldn’t have to take you to places or introduce you to his friends simply because you are threatening to leave him, he should do all those things because he wants to, because he values you and because he enjoys sharing his life with you.

  12. sculpturesquely says:

    Talk to him! Tell him the way you feel! Very along, wont to know where you stand! I would not think of moving till I had this talk! I Don’t think your relationship is mature, its more like burn out! He go as he wont’s and don’t add you in at party’s and friends, Why? and his friends that are like so pretty! What does think you are Dog Meat! Set this man down tell him you are not going to take it any longer! You are part of his life all the time party’s and all or your out for good! Stand up for you self this is no way for a man to do someone that he said he loves! Good Luck and Happy New Year!

  13. souses says:

    even if he is not cheating…… he is very come to visit… and he goes off by himself to party…….I’d let the fool go party…. pack your bags…. go home….. and never call the idiot again.

  14. deism says:

    Listen to your gut feeling. To be honest in my experience believe me It seems like he might have another girl and that’s why he’s not inviting you. Before I dated my husband I was in a 3 years relationship and that guy always party with his friends and I had mine. We never party together with each other friends and I always had this gut feeling he was cheating. He did he actually was with that girl for 4 years and w/ me 3! I left him as soon as I found out. Thanks for that I met the guy that is my husband now.

  15. Roberdsman says:

    Personally I would just dump him there are lots of other men in this world and they probably will treat you much better.